okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you traded sex for a burrito?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
