I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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