Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
