Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
