he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i dont even know how to be here
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
