that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
