Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
