does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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