I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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