so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
