Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
