Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think I sprained my soul last night
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
