She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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