been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
