So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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