My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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