No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
