if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
