Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
