I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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