He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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