Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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