I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
