a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
