oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
