let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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