Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
