At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
