Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
