I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
