yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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