i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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