its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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