I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
