# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
