I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize