i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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