4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
