I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he thought i was a dude.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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