We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize