Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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