She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
