Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
