I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
