no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
