3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
