whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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