Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
