Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize