Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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