Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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