im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So vagazzling was a success
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
