Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
