I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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