ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
is that a dick in a sweater?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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