I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
