Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
