There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
