Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
